Saturday, August 27, 2011

Growing Up Isn't Fun

When I was in junior high, I thought high schoolers were the coolest people ever.
Then, in high school, I couldn't wait to be in college.
I loved my college years and had great times and met wonderful friends, but I was still anxious for the school part of it to end.
When it finally did in May of 2010, I was so relieved.
"I'm never going back" I thought.
Well, I just finished week 1 of graduate school and I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be.
Sure, I probably need to get a graduate degree for a better job or higher pay.
I just feel so unmotivated.
I feel like if I continue down this path that I hate, the next 2 years of my life will suck.
So, even though it's been just 1 week, I might end up postponing grad school.
I kind of feel like a quitter.
But at the same time I don't think it's smart for me to pay $30,000 for something I'm not 100% committed to doing my best at.
I'd rather just work.
And travel.
And experience other things.
I don't want to spend every Sunday night trying to get all my homework done.
I feel like I'm not even giving grad school a chance, but the 20 minutes I've spent on my homework so far have felt like 2 miserable hours!
And I don't necessarily have to do it right now.
Maybe I should look at other options that don't require a masters degree.
I figure I can always go back, but I can't always get these years back.
I just want to do what I want to do whether it seems reckless or not.


  1. Girl, you only get one life! Do what makes your happy, and if that's not staying in grad school, then don't do it. There are plenty of great paying jobs out there that don't require a masters. You'll figure it :) Praying for you!


  2. Thanks Alisha! I'm realizing that I don't have to do what's "expected" of me just to please everyone else. I need to do what I need to do! :)

  3. Okay, I'll tell you about my first couple weeks in graduate school. I was depressed, disheartened, CONVINCED I'd made a mistake enrolling, insecure about my abilities, unsure of my real desires/passions/future...I wanted to quit SO badly. I emailed my mentor professor from undergrad and basically told him, I'd made a huge mistake coming to graduate school and HE had made a huge mistake thinking I would be good at it! He told me the first semester is the hardest, that it would get better, that I needed to stick with it, that it was supposed to be scary, that it was good if I felt inadequate at first because I'd have something to live up to.

    I have no idea if that's true for you, too, but I listened to his advice and 2 years later...I have my master's and am starting my PhD. It's hard but it DID get better after the first few weeks! If you need anything or want to vent about grad school, feel free to send me an email.

    Hope you're doing okay and finding some rest in the middle of all of this!

    love, elizabeth

  4. Thank you, Elizabeth! I actually decided to wait on the grad school thing until I know exactly what I'm doing...I might be moving back home in May and wouldn't be able to continue so I figured starting my masters now wouldn't be the smartest. But that definitely is encouraging to hear that things get better! If I do end up starting back up on my masters I will most likely email you to vent! :) haha