Friday, October 10, 2014

I Lived

Lately, I've been thinking about all the things I want to do in my life.
Where I want to travel, what career I want, what kind of future I want.
Sometimes it gets a little frustrating.
I don't have money to travel right now.
I can't really move into a career I want until I finish my masters.
Some things in life are beyond my control.
Then, I start to think of all the amazing things I've done in my life.
All the trips I've taken.
My 4 incredible years at college.
Relationships that have come and gone, but impacted me for a lifetime.
It's so easy to get bogged down in life.
Responsibilities come with being an adult, but that doesn't mean you can't live your life how you want to live it!
When I reach the end of my life and hopefully get to look back on my adventures and choices and mistakes, I truly hope I won't have regrets and say, "What if..."
Life doesn't always go the way you planned.
I've realized there is beauty in the unexpected.
There is something to be gained from the things that seem like epic failures at the time.
Every *mistake* can be the beginning of something more beautiful, a life more meaningful.
How can we truly know grace if we never screw up?
How can we really know love if we never let ourselves be vulnerable?
...even when the possibility of getting hurt {again} is staring us in the face...
This song is from one of my favorite albums ever.
I listened to it tonight and the lyrics really resonated with me in a way they hadn't before.
There is so much in this life I want to do, want to see, want to be.
I have decided to not let money or lack of education or anything else stop me.
I am the only person who can live my life.
I may not live it perfectly to everyone else's standards.
I may get hurt along the way.
But at the end of the day, at the end of my life, I want to say, "I lived!"

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Happiness

Happy Saturday!
Today I had to be at work at 7am and ya know what?
I was incredibly happy today!
I had double the coffee and everyone at work kept commenting on how hyper/happy I seemed.
That in itself made me smile.
I mean, I was bouncing off the walls mostly because of the coffee, but also I just felt good!
My two friends whom I recruited to join me in 'Over It October' have been sending me texts everyday letting me know what they did for themselves that made them happy!
Today, well tonight, I am going out with a friend to drink, maybe dance, and hopefully get a free drink or two...? haha
It should be a good time!
Just wanted to check in and make sure you do something for yourself this weekend that will help you smile! :)

XO

Friday, October 3, 2014

Oh Happy Day

Today was tough, but I was determined to find happiness.
I desperately needed new running shoes after obliterating mine from hiking the past few days.
They are covered in mud.
They're also almost 1 1/2 years old and I put a lot of miles into those shoes.
I love Brooks so I decided to stick with them...

I was torn at first because the shop down the street had these shoes in a really pretty coral/pink ombre color, but they were a little more expensive.
I went home and decided since my last pair of shoes were super bright pink I would go for purple/blue ones.
Plus, it kind of reminds me of a mermaid...so that got me excited too! haha
They should be here in about a week and since it's supposed to snow soon {EEEK!} they will stay nice and pretty longer from just being used at the gym.

The reason today was so tough was because it's been officially a week since my last boy debacle.
I can be really hard on myself after relationships end, even if I know the guy is just a jerk.
I obsess over every text, conversation, meetup...what I did wrong, what I could have done instead.
I know, it's not healthy and I'm working on it!
The truth is, the right guy won't make me wonder if I did something wrong.
I have a lot of emotions to process right now.
I'm the type of person who associates my emotions through music.
I've been listening to a lot of Sara Bareilles lately.
Her songs are heart wrenching, honest, gutsy...
Girl just gets it!
She is so, so talented and seems really fun!
How could you not love her?!
*Warning* Curse words galore in this next song.
The first time I heard this song I was listening to Sara Bareilles station at work through my headphones.
At first, it seemed so cute and fun...then she just started to dropping f-bombs and I laughed so hard.
But isn't that song so true?!

Anyway, I have to be at work bright and early tomorrow and have a fun Saturday night planned, so this girl needs her beauty sleep!
Night loves!

XO

Thursday, October 2, 2014

More Hiking Pics

Here are some more awesome pics from my hiking adventures!

 Our friend that we met at the top took this amazing panorama of us.

 Victory!

It was muddy and steep and I was hanging on for dear life!

Over It October is on day 2 and going strong...or at least trying to.
Throughout the day, I try to focus on the positives in my life and dive into work, exercise, hobbies...anything to take my mind off the hurt.
If you don't know what I'm referring to, read my previous post here.
Today, I had a fantastic day at work, rented a funny, girl-power movie {The Other Woman}, and attended yoga class with my favorite instructor.
I'm really trying to get more into yoga.
I used to hate it, thinking it was too slow for my upbeat workout taste; however, I leave class feeling amazing and my muscles are always pretty sore the next day!
Haha Yes...this pretty much sums me up.

I don't really care that I suck because, like my instructor said tonight, "Yoga is about loving yourself, your body, your life."
I literally teared up in class.
Happiness is on the horizon and I'm chasing after it, people!
I hope you did something today, for you, that made you happy! :)

XO

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Over It October

Have you ever reached that point where dating just isn't fun for you anymore?
Seem to be stuck in a cycle of dating for a few weeks only to be let down or realize the guy is a giant jerk?
That's where I'm at now.
And I'm over it!
That's why I've declared this month to be Over It October!!
I decided to lay off the dating for this month and focus solely on me.
What I want.
What I need.
What I don't want.
Basically just taking a breather and remember what dating should be all about anyway...fun!
It shouldn't be a constant burden or stressor.
If it is, that's probably a good indicator that the relationship isn't right for you.
It's not always the guys fault.
My last two relationships {I use that term very loosely with these guys} had some major red flags.
I ignored them because, mostly, I just wanted to have someone to go out with and have fun.
I understand that sounds a bit pathetic and have even had people tell me that is a stupid reason to go out with a guy.
Maybe so, but the truth is, I'm lonely.
If I have the option of going out with a guy for a night vs staying at home for the 3rd Saturday night in a row...I'm mostly likely choosing the guy even if I know the fun feeling won't last longer than a night.
I finally broke down this weekend and decided I needed a change.
The revolving door of newness and excitement and rejection is just too much for me right now.
I get too invested and take it too personally when it doesn't work out.
Sometimes the timing isn't right.
Sometimes the guy is just a jerk.
But the whole point of all of this is that October will be my month.
I have decided to do something that makes me happy everyday.
I already have two friends on board, one in VA and one in Chicago! :)
Today, my coworker/friend, Greta, and I went on a wonderful hike!

 At the top, we met Joe.
It was his 40th birthday and he brought a beer with him.
He shared with us and we made a new friend!

The gorgeous panoramic view.
Seriously, how can you look at this view and not be happy!
Alaskan sunsets.
Nothing like it!

As I reflect back on the past several months that have let me to this place, I am grateful for the experiences, but my heart and my head need to relax a little.
I am, instead, going to focus on finding happiness and comfort in all of the wonderful things I have in my life.
Hopefully this month brings me some peace as well.
Happy October, friends!
May all your pumpkin needs be ever filled! :)

XO Linds

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

FALLing In Love

I think Fall is almost everyone's favorite season.
It's chilly enough to wear your cute boots and scarf, but not so freezing that you're bundled up like the Michelin Man.
Holiday drinks at Starbucks make me soooooo happy.
I love how the leaves turn yellow and crunch under my feet when I go for walks like they did today.
I also took my niece to the park to enjoy the sunshine.
 I had to take Josie out for a hike on Sunday, while reppin the Seahawks, because it was so gorgeous!
While I was walking today a song came on my playlist.
I was listening to the words and was surprised at how much they resonated with me!
"I still believe that you'll come knocking on my door when I least expect you to"
Yes, a million times, yes!
This song has been on repeat ever since.
There's something about the chilly weather that is refreshing and renewing.
The possibilities seem endless.
Even though my heart has been bruised a little bit lately, I feel like love could be just around the corner.
Even though I've been feeling lonely, new friendships could blossom.
That's what Fall is to me.
A new beginning.
If you are in the same place I am, I hope you see this changing of season as a fresh start, as well!

XO Linds

Monday, September 1, 2014

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Goodbye August, hello September!
Meaning all things Fall and pumpkins has begun.
It also means I have officially been home for 1 year!
This time last year I arrived back to Alaska ready for my next adventure.
And what an adventure it's been!!
I am such a different person in almost every single way.
I've lost 36 pounds and will continue because my goal is 70!
I miss my friends in VA so much, but am making new friends here.
It's been a slow process and sometimes I can get really lonely; however, it forces me to focus on myself...there's been some deep reflection going on lately. haha
I am slowly becoming a different person, for the better I think.
Breaking out of my shell which was always my comfort zone.
I was always more comfortable being the friend on the sidelines while I watched all my friends go out on dates.
I was always more comfortable hanging out with the same group of friends, doing the same things.
I never lost quite enough weight because I constantly gained it back and was afraid of defeat yet again.
That's not the norm anymore.
I knew I needed a change and moving home was exactly what I needed to transition from who I was to who I have become.
I'm excited for the adventure ahead and the changes that are to come.
...
August was a fun, crazy month.
The highlight was going to California to visit family.
 Got to meet my cousins baby, Hayden, at 6 weeks old! <3
 Ventura, CA
Seriously, couldn't leave without a In-N-Out stop!
Oh, I got a haircut!

I didn't want to leave.
My cousin keeps telling me to move there and live with her...
I'm so tempted.
I told her after I ran down the dating pool in Alaska I'd consider it.
Oh, you want to know more about my love life, do you?
Let me tell you.
If you need some excitement in your life, get the Tinder app.
I have actually met some really cool guys through it.
A few weirdos, but for the most part I've really enjoyed it.
This video on Buzzfeed made me laugh so hard.
It's so true.


It's just fun to meet random people {obviously, be safe about it} and go out and have a good time.
There's no pressure and I've actually become friends with some of the guys on there.
The thing that sucks about it is it shows you guys around your area which sometimes means he could be just passing through for work.
This is my current situation and I'm super bummed.
I just keep reminding myself...
;)
Happy Labor Day, folks!
XO Linds