Monday, June 23, 2014

Life Happens

If you read my last post, I'm sure you are on pins and needles waiting to hear about Mr. Online.
Well, I'm not really sure what happened, to be honest.
One day things were fine, the next, I stopped hearing from him.
A week went by and I decided to text him.
No response. Nothing. Complete radio silence.
Of course, those crazy girl thoughts ran through my mind...

"Maybe he lost his phone..."
"Maybe I did something wrong..."
"Maybe he went out hunting and got attacked by a bear and has amnesia and can't remember me!!..."

Yeah, I'm weird.

Obviously, it was none of these.
I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks {after nearly 2 months of talking everyday}.
I think the thing that sucks the most is not having closure.
Not knowing what happened.
Of course, I can just assume he wasn't interested and was too much of a coward to tell me, but it's crazy how things can change so quickly.
The last time we talked he said he wanted to go out again and mentioned future dates.
So, lots of confusion.
The other night I was so close to calling him.
Instead, I did the adult thing and googled "What to do when a guy stops texting you."
Yes, seriously.
I actually read some really great advice.
A counselor said that when you text someone wanting "closure" you're really hoping to clear up some miscommunication, wanting to restart the relationship, basically not wanting to let go.
I'm very self aware and hate the thought of seeming desperate or pathetic towards a man.
The article goes on to say that not having closure can help you deal with anxiety or uncertainty in the future.
I thought that was really interesting.
Sometimes we won't get answers or the perfect ending we were hoping for.
And that can be a good thing!
Because I have a degree in psychology, I find it interesting when I experience things that I actually learned.
For instance, the stages of grief:


At first, I was in total denial.
I was certain he would contact me with some great excuse as to why he couldn't get ahold of me before.
After a week, and him ignoring my inquiring text, I got angry!
Oh boy, was I angry with him.
A few days later I skipped over bargaining and headed straight for depression.
I realize 2 months isn't very long, but a loss is a loss and it still hurts.
I wouldn't say I was clinically depressed by any means.
More so, I was sad and lonely and upset.
I allowed myself to wallow and eat some junk food that I hadn't been eating for a while.
And you know what?
It didn't help.
I just felt sad and sick.
I quickly realized that it's not ok to let someone who does so little for me, control so much of my mind, feelings, and emotions. {I read that quote on "muffintopless" Instagram and died a million times at how profound I thought it was! haha}.
No reason to throw my life off balance for a little boy who had such little regard for my feelings and couldn't be bothered to even so much as send a text letting me know he wasn't interested.
Now, I am in the acceptance stage.
For whatever reason, he was a part of my life for a short time and there is something to be learned and gained from the experience.
Life happens...which is also a song I love and have been listening to a lot lately.
"Life happens and most of it's out of your hands so why don't you get up and dance"

Now, instead of wondering what happened, I try to remind myself he just wasn't prepared to handle all of my fabulousness!
It still stinks going from the excitement of a new relationship to being alone again.
However, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I'd rather be with someone who cares about me and respects me enough to communicate with me and not just fit me in when it's convenient for him.
This is how we weed out the boys from the men and I'll be damned if I don't hold out for a real man after all this time!
In the meantime, I am gearing up for my bow hunting class and making moves forward at work.
I'll fill you in on that a little bit more soon!
I have a feeling exciting things are on the horizon!

XO Linds


  1. so, are you glad that you did the online dating experience? maybe there is going to be a hottie (ahem...real man) in your bow hunting class!! you never know ;)

    1. Sadly, the BOW class stands for (Becoming and Outdoors Woman) and the first class I'm taking just happens to be about bow hunting. haha So, I imagine there won't be any men there! But my next plan is to hang out at Cabela's a lot! haha And I still am on the dating site...but definitely not loving it. haha Glad I did it anyway.