Adventures in Dating

This past month was a whirlwind.

I've already talked a little bit about how crazy it was with family and work and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon.

What I failed to mention was I have been dating a lot more lately.

I sometimes don't want to get too personal with my love life on the blog because it would be so easy for a guy I'm seeing to look it up and read everything I'm thinking about him.

That being said, some dates are just TOO good to not write about.

For my first story, I've decided to go with a recent date.

This guy seemed pretty funny and nice over text.

He was cute and had a good job {which he constantly talked about - i.e. making tons of money and how he was super high up in the company...blah blah blah}.

I agreed to meet him one night for a drink.

I became increasingly unsettled about it when he started texting me things like, "oh my gosh I'm SOOO excited to meet you! We are going to have so much fun!!"

Dude. Chill.

We met and he seemed alright though.

We went into the bar and ordered our drinks.

I had a beer and he had some fruity shot.

Even the bartender gave him the beer before I said, "Oh no, he had the girly drink, I had the beer."

That gave the bartender quite a laugh.

The next hour or so I had to endure this 24 year old telling me about his 8 cars, how he went to boarding school in London {and he pulled out the most fake British accent I've ever heard}, he said he went to MIT, how rich he was, his experience dating a celebrity in LA, "accidentally" showing me a dick pic on his phone, and basically just making an ass of himself.

So, after his 5th girly shot, he was definitely feeling good and thought it was an appropriate time to put his hand on my leg.

At this point I said I had to get up early and needed to get to bed.

He asked me if he could walk me to my car.

I just expected him to be a gentleman and give me a hug or kiss me on the cheek.

Nope.

I go in for a hug and he just plants one on me.

He told me, "I get what I want and I see myself with you."

Not only is that super annoying, it's creepy.

I've been dodging him the best I can, but gosh, kid is persistent.

The absolute BEST part of this whole thing is, when I got home I googled him.

It sent me straight to his Facebook page...

He went to community college in Arizona.

Life Happens

If you read my last post, I'm sure you are on pins and needles waiting to hear about Mr. Online.
Well, I'm not really sure what happened, to be honest.
One day things were fine, the next, I stopped hearing from him.
A week went by and I decided to text him.
No response. Nothing. Complete radio silence.
Of course, those crazy girl thoughts ran through my mind...

"Maybe he lost his phone..."

"Maybe I did something wrong..."

"Maybe he went out hunting and got attacked by a bear and has amnesia and can't remember me!!..."

Yeah, I'm weird.

Obviously, it was none of these.

I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks {after nearly 2 months of talking everyday}.

I think the thing that sucks the most is not having closure.

Not knowing what happened.

Of course, I can just assume he wasn't interested and was too much of a coward to tell me, but it's crazy how things can change so quickly.

The last time we talked he said he wanted to go out again and mentioned future dates.

So, lots of confusion.

The other night I was so close to calling him.

Instead, I did the adult thing and googled "What to do when a guy stops texting you."

Yes, seriously.

I actually read some really great advice.

A counselor said that when you text someone wanting "closure" you're really hoping to clear up some miscommunication, wanting to restart the relationship, basically not wanting to let go.

I'm very self aware and hate the thought of seeming desperate or pathetic towards a man.

The article goes on to say that not having closure can help you deal with anxiety or uncertainty in the future.

I thought that was really interesting.

Sometimes we won't get answers or the perfect ending we were hoping for.

And that can be a good thing!

Because I have a degree in psychology, I find it interesting when I experience things that I actually learned.

For instance, the stages of grief:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

At first, I was in total denial.

I was certain he would contact me with some great excuse as to why he couldn't get ahold of me before.

After a week, and him ignoring my inquiring text, I got angry!

Oh boy, was I angry with him.

A few days later I skipped over bargaining and headed straight for depression.

I realize 2 months isn't very long, but a loss is a loss and it still hurts.

I wouldn't say I was clinically depressed by any means.

More so, I was sad and lonely and upset.

I allowed myself to wallow and eat some junk food that I hadn't been eating for a while.

And you know what?

It didn't help.

I just felt sad and sick.

I quickly realized that it's not ok to let someone who does so little for me, control so much of my mind, feelings, and emotions. {I read that quote on "muffintopless" Instagram and died a million times at how profound I thought it was! haha}.

No reason to throw my life off balance for a little boy who had such little regard for my feelings and couldn't be bothered to even so much as send a text letting me know he wasn't interested.

Now, I am in the acceptance stage.

For whatever reason, he was a part of my life for a short time and there is something to be learned and gained from the experience.

Life happens...which is also a song I love and have been listening to a lot lately.

"Life happens and most of it's out of your hands so why don't you get up and dance"

Now, instead of wondering what happened, I try to remind myself he just wasn't prepared to handle all of my fabulousness!

It still stinks going from the excitement of a new relationship to being alone again.

However, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I'd rather be with someone who cares about me and respects me enough to communicate with me and not just fit me in when it's convenient for him.

This is how we weed out the boys from the men and I'll be damned if I don't hold out for a real man after all this time!

In the meantime, I am gearing up for my bow hunting class and making moves forward at work.

I'll fill you in on that a little bit more soon!

I have a feeling exciting things are on the horizon!

XO Linds

The Things You Learn From Guys

You know how some girls are either "girly girls" or "guys girls"?

I think I'm kind of in between the two.

There's those girls who say, "I just don't really have any girlfriends".

Which usually means they're really pretty and get a lot of male attention so other girls hate them.

And then there's girls who are just way too girly and ditzy and guys can't stand them.

Well, I love pink and dressing up, but I also play/watch sports, drink beer, and can joke with the guys.

Growing up with two older brothers probably has something to do with that.

I've always been comfortable hanging out with boys.

One thing I love about it is getting their perspective on girls.

I have learned a lot from these relationships.

Here are some of the funny, ridiculous, sometimes stupid, and often times enlightening things I have learned from my guy friends:

- Animal print clothing is beyond slutty.  It is downright whorish.

- Lipstick is gross.

- The more clingy a girl is, the faster a guy will run away.  Guys hate desperation.

- "I hate makeup"

Guys, I'm going to help you out on this one.

Trust me: You do NOT hate makeup.

You may hate excessive makeup because the drag look is certainly out, but makeup can be a woman's best friend.

I once had a guy friend tell me, "I hate makeup. You go to bed with Stephanie and you wake up with Steve!"

I still laugh every time I think of that.

The point is, most guys like natural looking makeup.

So ladies, save the green eyeshadow/red lipstick/bright pink cheek look for girls nights...or just throw it out completely...

- If you ask a guy a question, expect a straight answer.  If you don't want to hear the truth, ask a girlfriend who will lie to you.

- Guys really don't like the top knot, bun thingy.

- If you dress and act in a way that demands respect, a guy will respect you.

- If you leave nothing to the imagination with your outfits, I'm willing to bet that classy isn't the first thing popping into a guys head when he sees you.

- Every guy thinks Jennifer Aniston is hot.  Like, all of them.  Even the ones who "don't like blondes".

That's another thing I don't get about guys.

How can you generalize and say, "I don't like blondes" or, "Brown eyes are boring"?

What if you meet a girl who is absolutely amazing and you get along great and she is everything you've ever wanted, but she has blonde hair and brown eyes.

Basing your opinion on someone because of small physical appearances, such as hair color and eye color, is the most shallow thing I have ever heard.

Plus, some blonde hair, brown eyed girls are really awesome...

;)

All I'm saying is, it's hard for guys and girls to co-exist sometimes.

Ladies are so over complicated and analytical.

I say this a lot, and not in a mean way, but men are so simple.

They pretty much say what they mean and mean what they say.

I think women need to be more like that.

New Goal: Think Like a Man.

Like my friend Kevin and I say, "All girls are bitches and all boys are ass holes".

Just try to find a bitch or an ass hole that you love!

That's the hard, yet adventurously fun, part of it all!

XOXO

Dear Boys

Dear Boys,

I know you probably already think the world of yourselves, but, just so you know, we think you're attractive.  We might roll our eyes, but we think it's cute that you act like you're so strong.  We like it when you give us attention.  We get excited when you text us to just say hi.  Sometimes just that smile is enough to make us start sending out wedding invites {ok, maybe not that crazy...} What we don't like is when you talk to us all day Friday and then treat us like we have the plague on Monday.  Seriously, what is that?!  It makes us feel like we look like this when we talk to you...

Attractive

I know us girls overanalyze every single thing, and I'm sure that's annoying, but it really messes with our heads when you ignore us.  You want to play hard to get?  Fine.  We'll play harder.

Game On,

Girls

Awakening

Hi friends!

2012 has already brought some amazing news that I can't wait to share with you...soon!

It also has challenged me physically, spiritually, and mentally.

Only two weeks into the new year and I feel like a new person!

10 pounds lighter, stronger, more motivated than I've ever been.

Learning more about relationships.

Finally realizing that guys and girls can't be "best friends".

It doesn't work.

I don't care who you are or how many guy friends you've had.

Someone inevitably gets hurt.

Amen Dave!

I've had so many guy friends in my life and I always defended the theory that guys and girls are capable of being good friends.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do believe that a guy and a girl can be friends and maintain just a friendship with no drama, under a few conditions:

- They don't spend copious amounts of hours alone together.

- They aren't each others emotional rocks or "counselors" as I like to call them.

- It really helps if the guy doesn't treat the girl like they are dating {i.e. texting just to say "good morning" or "I miss you and really want to see you soon"}.  There is a HUGE difference between being a supportive friend and leading a girl on.

- It's not all on the guys though.  Girls, don't take everything he says to heart.  I do think guys need to be more careful in what they say to girls, but sometimes girls misinterpret, "You look nice today" as, "You're so hot and I want to marry you and have babies with you and grow old with you."  

Yes, I am guilty of this, like all girls.

A guy once told me, "Lindsey, you're not like other girls.  You're so chill, awesome and funny.  That's why I like being around you"

He might as well have proposed to me right then and there!

Don't act like you haven't done that too, ok?!

I do have some great guy friends that I love, but the difference is we don't spend much time alone and we don't cross boundaries that would make the other one think we are interested.

Guy/girl relationships are so hard to navigate and you don't have to agree with me on everything or anything I said.

These are just some things I personally believe and do that help a lot.

Let me know what you think on the subject!

Have a great Thursday!

XOXO